You are not your story

We all know how powerful storytelling can be.  We tell stories every day!  

Stories that inspire us, uplift us.  Stories that help us reminisce, connect to a loved one or a beloved memory. Stories of how far we have come, and stories of where we dream of going!

Stories have the power to connect, and empower, but they also have the power to hold us back.  

During my coaching training, I remember Martha Beck talking lovingly of the 'story-fondler'. The client who is still so deeply ingrained in the story of where they have been, that they are unable to move forward and create change.  

I was a story fondler.  I didn’t realise quite how much I fondled my story until I started coaching!  

My story was often one of tragedy and hard work.  Illnesses, childhood traumas, sudden deaths and a life that was very familiar with struggle.  I told the story so often that I couldn’t really see the truth of what was happening.  Re-telling my story somehow justified that fact that I hadn’t created the success that I wanted to.  

Truth be told, I actually thrived on disaster!!  

I had adapted so well to this being my story, that honestly - without a crisis - I didn’t know quite what to do!  I was a fixer, and a people pleaser, and this kept me locked in a story that kept repeating itself over and over again until I finally started paying attention a few years ago.  

My ‘story’ came to a rather un-fairytale like ending a few years ago when my husband left our family unexpectedly.  Through the breaking open that happened as a result of this, I came to realise that all these years stuck in story, I had been neglecting the truth of who I was.  

Who I was didn’t want to be stuck in a cycle of drama or illness or recurrent ‘life lessons’ that kept landing in my lap.  Who I was actually dreamed of a completely different life.  But I had lost sight of taking care of, and listening to my own desires over the years, and now I had let all of my power go into fondling my story.  

And as I stepped out of my story, I actually saw how my journey had made me stronger, how resilient I have become through all that I have lived.  I couldn’t see that strength when I lived everyday in the “why me?”.

And no longer am I trapped in the frustration of the question, "why does this keep happening?”, and instead I am able to embrace the truth of who I really am - see the qualities that make me me, instead of the circumstances.  

Who I am is divine love, a reflection of my creator and infinite source.  

I am not my failed marriage, or my miscarried babies, or my life-long struggle with illness.  

Who I am is a radiant being that lives in the moment, is guided by divine source and is powerful beyond my own human belief.  

Having released a lot of my story to where it belongs, in the past, I have freed up so much emotional energy to embrace live in the present.  My creativity has awakened, my purpose is clear, my wounds are healed, I have more energy and now I am just the very best version of me.  

I realise now that my truth, is not the same as my story.  I have chosen to release all that kept me stuck for so long, and instead embody the celebration of being me, here in the present moment, with big hopes and dreams and desires that resonate nothing with that of my past.  

Mary HoustonComment