What to do when it feels like you've lost everything
So, most of you know that 3+ years ago I discovered the dreaded news that my ex was indeed having an affair, and that subsequently my marriage ended.
Over the course of a few months I tried to understand him, and reconcile our relationship. Lucky for me he didn’t want any of that, and so it really was game over.
A short while later, my mum because seriously sick back in England, and I left Australia within 48hours with nothing more than my son, and all that my bag would carry - little did I know, never to return.
Looking back now I would say that it was divine intervention, because as a result of my mum’s illness, my ex agreed to an international relocation and financial settlement that otherwise would have bled me dry in the Courts.
But I suddenly found myself having signed away my house and almost all of my possessions, and emailing my client list to say that my business would not re-open as I had moved to the UK.
Needless to say, a mini-breakdown followed!
I can smile, and even laugh now, but at the time I was devastated. I never expected my marriage to end, or to be a single mum. And to suddenly be living out of a bag with a 18month old at the age of 39 wasn’t how I planned life to work out.
I know this isn’t anywhere near as traumatic as what hundreds of thousands of people face in reality everyday. But it was traumatic for me and my son at the time.
But, 3 years on, I can say that this was really the birthing of my new project “Mind your own Business’.
For at least 2 years following our separation, I continued to be deeply affected by anything and everything that my ex would say.
My self-confidence was in pieces, any trust that I had in my own judgement was shattered. I punished myself over and over for anything and everything.
My emotional and physical health spiralled out of control, and all the while I had a little boy who was looking to me for reassurance and loving guidance.
So, what was my saving grace?....Learning to mind my own business.
Realising that what anyone else says to me, thinks about me or does to me, is none of my business. (In fact, it says more about them than it does about me!)
Learning to stand in my own power, and truth, and hold fast the the inner love and guidance that I knew was looking after me.
Being able to awaken to this level of self-actualisation saved, and changed my life. And as I did, I realised just how much it affects every single one of us every day.
Everywhere I look, I see people who are entrenched in emotional suffering, focusing so intently on their circumstances, rather than their own power to change them.
Everyone loves someone to blame. It’s a hard truth.
More often than not, it is easier to blame something, or someone, than change ourselves.
I know, because I still do it!!
Everyday I have to catch myself, largely out of habit, wanting to lean into blame instead of standing into my power and changing the way I want my day to go!
Everyday I have to walk my talk, and practise my tools - but as I do - the weight lifts from me and I am able to celebrate my life and the day ahead, no matter the circumstances that I face.
How? Because I know that if I Mind my own Business, focus on the things that I can control and change, instead of the things that other people put on me, then I am always able to choose joy.
It’s taken a lot of practise. It is a simple strategy, but not an easy one. And when clients sign up with me to dig deep into their own habits and blocks to get this kind of breakthrough in their own life, they commit to the long haul of changing a life-time of bad habits!!
But the reward?
Being able to transcend the everyday crap and still bathe in love.
And that is priceless.
It's changing the lives of women all around the world! And everyday, as I get messages from women sharing their breakthroughs, I rejoice in my story and all that has brought me here to you, because had my heart not broken, I never would have heard this truth within me that I now share with you.
Until next time,